“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” – Seneca That quote (attributed to Roman philosopher, Seneca), is a vital foundation to any success you experience in life simply because it asserts the idea that luck is no ‘accident’ – you make your own ‘luck’.
And it’s 100% true.
For years, I’ve hammered this to my students, to show just how important it is to prepare with diligence and discipline. The difference between wishes and reality is all a matter of focus to implement action so you achieve your goals. Last night, I witnessed the most amazing culmination of mental preparation and achievement. All thanks to my incredible life partner, Crystal.
Meet Crystal Cybulski
Like me, Crystal is the type of person who actively ‘makes her own luck’ through continuous development and conscious action-taking. So I shouldn’t have been surprised (although it did impress the hell out of me), that the moment Crystal and I got pregnant, she took on pregnancy and motherhood in the exact same way. She got as many books, videos and resources together as possible to prepare and make it happen, on the terms that suited her, not the terms imposed on her by outside influences.
And not too long after her immersion in pregnancy and motherhood, she decided that her terms meant no hospitals and a home-birth instead.
Meet Ariel Martel
Last night, I experienced one of the most magical nights of my life… and it’s all thanks to Crystal, my new hero.
During our pregnancy (41 weeks!!), Crystal soaked up every bit of knowledge on pregnancy and child birth, we got an amazing doula and midwife and actively prepared for herself for a painless at-home labour using practice and visualization.
All day yesterday, Crystal was feeling moderate ‘cramps’ telling me it’s coming soon. As a super partner, I completely supported her, but in the back of my mind, based on my previous notion (forced upon me by society… you know, go to the hospital, get drugged up so you don’t feel anything that then slows down the process by hours if not days of our own magical bodies) that it won’t happen for days (of course I kept that for myself). Well around 10pm last night, the cramping started getting more intense, but Crystal being so mentally prepared didn’t make a big fuss about it. Did her breathing, and kept watching TV. Then midnight strikes, and all of a sudden, full blown labour starts. Why? “Cause I’ve been talking to Ariel in my head that we’re in this together, let’s help each other out” she said.
So then, it was time to call our doula as Crystal told me she was fairly certain our baby, Ariel, was coming soon. Our doula had never been part of an at-home birth before because she had only just began, but she is one of the most amazing and incredibly supportive people I’ve ever met who helped us through it all.
Our doula arrived around 12:30am last night at which point the contractions were around 5 minutes apart for around 30 minutes. Around 1am, the contractions got closer to 3 minutes apart just like that, and we were instructed to call our midwife when they were at 4 minutes apart for at least an hour. But at 1:15, they were getting closer to 2 minutes apart, so even though it hadn’t been over a consistant hour, I decided to call the midwife as Ariel was coming. At about 1:40am, as Crystal is on all fours going through her contractions, I spoted Ariel’s head! So I snuck out, called the midwife again and told her “The baby is crowning! I’m delivering this baby“. And I was so calm because Crystal was calm, and I knew she had the situation under control. She was even still helping me work on my biggest launch ever, “the mystery box giveaway” (I know, crazy timing) during her labour because she said it helped her keep her mind busy! Just incredible. Anyway, the midwife said she would be right over and to call 911 for an ambulance as a backup. After convincing the dispatcher that I wasn’t kidding, I’m about to deliver a baby, I walked into the washroom where Crystal had a big smile, she looked at me and said “it’s time“. In 45 seconds, without pushing, yelling or what looked to me like any pain at all, Ariel Martel was born at 1:55am on December 18th, 2015 at 7lbs, 4Oz. You got that right, Crystal delivered our baby on her own (with me only there to catch Ariel) with a big smile, all natural, in our bath tub.
Thank God the midwife got there at 2:10 and the paramedics at 2:15 cause it was time to start cutting the cord and delivering the placenta… YUK. lol By am, we were both back in bed, she was breast feeding with all smiles, I was looking at them with my celebratory beer and the house was clean and quiet by 3:30am.
It was the best experience of my life, and a first hand witness of the strongest person I’ve ever met. And I know people say, “Oh you’re so lucky to have such a smooth birth“, but I promise you, this was not some happy accident. It’s all thanks to Crystal – her strength and her preparation is why we slept in our bed with our new healthy baby girl after a 2-hour labour. Tomorrow, the kids will meet their new sister, and we’re off to the valley for Crystal’s family Christmas gathering. You are my hero baby, and I love you! xoxo